Practicing Optimism

The Yarrow Letter

October 14, 2023

There are around 17,500 different species of butterfly on Earth - that’s a lot of beauty to be found.

Today I'd like to share optimism with you.

First I will define optimism and its importance, then I will share my experience with optimism.

Optimism is not forcing positivity upon every area of life.

Optimism is the orientation to life where one:


-Practices resilience


-Nurtures their curiosity, they make life a playground


-Is determined to make it through challenges


-Is flexible with their personal narrative


-Knows that defeat is temporary, it does not define them


-Is open-minded to other avenues when plan A does not work

The difference between optimism and pessimism is how you describe your reality.

The optimist and pessimist can run into the same problems, failures, and successes.

Three frameworks of thought are used to evaluate our problems.

Personalization:

The optimist will recognize that it is not their fault if their car is broken into - but they will take responsibility for how they react to this event. They might say:

“Smashed window? That’s some bad luck.”

The pessimist will somehow find a way to blame themselves, saying things like:

“How could I let this happen, I should have parked somewhere else.”

The optimist will take ownership of their success. If they have been consistent at the gym and they start to see gains they will acknowledge their growth and affirm that they have put in hard work - earning them this outcome.

The pessimist will question whether there has been any growth at all, and if they admit that there is growth - it likely won’t feel like enough. They might even attribute their success to some factor other than their own action.

Pervasiveness:

The optimist encounters a problem and asks themself:

“Will this ruin everything I’ve worked for?”

“How pervasive is this bashed car window?”

- “Everything will be okay, and this will only be a problem for a short while.”

The pessimist brings this problem out of its micro context and attributes it on a macro scale.

“This broken window means I’ll be late to work, then I’ll be in a bad mood.”

The problem spreads into other areas of the pessimist’s life like wildfire.

Try to limit your problems to their local context.

Permanence:

How permanent is the problem?

For example, if one were to break up with a long-term partner for any reason.

Optimist: “I really loved them, but it didn’t work, I’ll have to start dating again when it feels right.”

Pessimist: “How could this happen?! I am going to be single for the rest of my life!”

One plans on action, and another resigns themselves to suffering.

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

- Thomas Edison, on his creation of a working lightbulb filament.

Optimism and life.

Optimism is integral to living a fulfilled life.

Optimistic thinking allows the expansion of one’s own potential.

Strive to expand your potential rather than reach it.

Potential is something that will never be reached, if you try to reach it then you may be limiting yourself.

Goals should be evolving and growing.

With optimism, one can feel secure in the face of challenge and confident in the shadow of defeat.

Curiosity.

Living curiously is akin to living playfully.

Don't take life too seriously all the time.

Taking something that was made for fun and treating it too seriously is a fool’s work.

Investigate challenges with a curious disposition - this is to be solution-oriented.

Take some time to notice the good things:

The colors of the leaves

Little waterfalls in streams

A path you've never been on

Mushrooms pushing out of the ground

A hopeful song

The way squirrels scamper about

Take some time to share positivity.

Give your friend an extra hug.

Call your family just to tell them you love them.

Make small acts of kindness here and there, the little things can make someone’s day.

Practicing optimism:

Optimism is like a muscle, you have to exercise it to see improvements.


Try writing about what you are grateful for every morning.


Alternatively, you could write about what you are excited about.


30 things you are excited about in the next year. The relationships you will develop. The lifestyle you are cultivating. The career development you are working towards. The learning you will undergo. Etc.


Try this once a month.


Or instead of a one-year projection, a monthly, weekly, or daily projection.


Try writing about 5 things you are excited about in your day - every morning.


Self-esteem is closely tied to one’s affinity for optimism.


I have designed a free Notion template for you. Inspired by The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem. This template utilizes a practice called “sentence completion” to bring awareness to the components of self-esteem.

One year ago I met the most optimistic person in my life.

Cole was in a very different place than I was.

He was hungry for success while I was trying to make sense of who I was.

Still, we became best friends after discovering our dreams for life were shared.

Cole constantly looked for new opportunities, and never let failure damper his energy.

Cole was treating those "dreams" as reality.

I was hesitant, unsure if my goals were realistic.

Around Cole - I found the courage to be certain of my goals.

Those goals became cemented as purpose.

My time with Cole over the past year has been the most inspiring and progressive year of my life.

With his encouragement and optimistic outlook on not only his life but mine as well - I began generating my own optimism.

The switch between acting upon my purpose, and letting them remain dreams - was when I became optimistic and then embodied personal responsibility.

I would not be the same person today without Cole's exemplary optimism.

Optimism is not delusional.

The optimist is aware of failures and setbacks.

But they choose to reroute their path rather than getting knocked off their path.

To the optimist - the world is a garden of opportunity.

Time for another song!

Some of my favorite songs have an “ascension” theme

- this isn’t a particular genre, but it is a feeling of rising energy

- not a punk rock or dancey type of energy

- it’s the kind of energy that brings you some peace and motivation

From the epic album of the same name - this KGLW song is something of a vulnerable and resilient prayer.

The message of seeing beauty in the world is one I want to share with all of my readers.

I have hope for you.

If you don’t have a Cole in your life, I’d be happy to chat with you about optimism.

Reach me @yarrow_achillea

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-Yarrow Achillea